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Google Voice Fail

I started using Google Voice a couple of months ago, and some of the features are great for me. I really like getting the actual text of the message (by email or text message on my phone) — sometimes it is quicker to read than to drag through the prompts and whatnot to listen to a voice mail. And it gives me documentation of the message.

But, oh crikey, how they get mangled sometimes…it’s like English in Engrish.

As you can see, we’d discussed this little quirk and the need to speak slowly and articulate well. Um, yeah.

So imagine my surprise when I received this transcript of a voice mail left by the Beta Daughter regarding an upcoming visit around the holidays. Correct transcript continues below. Click on the image to share in the wholeness of the Googlized joy.

Here’s what was really said:
“Hey, Mom. I’m going to talk very clearly so Google Voice will pick it up. I think you’re sleeping. I wanted to call because we got your package, and it’s a wonderful, thank you. (laughs) I kinda fell apart there because it’s not easy to talk this way. But that was an awesome collection of very thoughtful things. My ornament wasn’t hand-made but it was very thoughtful and cute. We loved the card, and the magnet, and I realized they are from Coffee Creations, which is very cool. And yeah, just wanted to let you know that we love it. And I love you and we are really excited to see you soon. So have a good weekend. Give me a call if you get the chance. Bye.”

I am still laughing over this one.

I suppose I am the “same model”, although at my age I’ve suffered significant depreciation and I’m no longer listed in the Blue Book. Glad to know she was not headed to Indonesia. I was very puzzled at the “go early word document.”, like she was trapped in some sort of Microsoft hell. I was deeply relieved that she doesn’t “have this IS A baby” — hearing I was to be a grandmother via voice mail would be like breaking off an engagement using Twitter. But I did have a good weekend, once I used the “play message” to allay my concerns about all this.

And how could the thing itself parse “Google Voice” into “a group of us”?

“Transcript useful?” Not so much.

I’ll be posting some more of the interesting results as they come in.